Who Do You Think You Are?

My dad died when I was 10 years old and my brother and sister were only 7 (they're twins).  Unfortunately as a consquence I lost touch with that side of the family. I had only really had any contact with my nan anyway but that faded a few years after my dad died.  He had been estranged from his brother for many years so I had only had intermittent contact with cousins.

It was probably as a result of this lack of connection or knowledge about my dad's side of the family that prompted me to start to explore my family tree/history on that side.

I started with the knowledge that my dad had been bought in Portsmouth, had a younger brother and that my     nan had some "spanish" connection through her mum.  Not a lot to go on admittedly but enough to make a start.

I registered on the Ancestry website and started my search.  I began by checking the records for the information I knew, my dad's birth, marriage and death, and then from that my nan and my grandad.  As I found records which I thought matched my relatives I ordered the certificates to confirm my findings. Not all enquiries were successful and I did end up with copy certificates for completely unrelated people who just happened to share similar names!

My Great Grandmother (from Gibraltar)
 and one of my nan's sisters

My Great-Grandad, married in Gibraltar

Eventually I began to build a picture of family members and dates of birth, marriages, deaths and extended family members.  As a result I have learnt that my nan gave birth to a still born daughter, my uncle changed his name, my nan had two sisters (which no one else in my family seemed to know about) and her mum was from Gilbratar which is where my great grandad met her when he was posted there with the army; a trip to the National Archives at Kew helped me to locate the record of my great-grandparents marriage.

National Archives at Kew 

I have managed to trace my nan's side of the family back to the 1600's and have learnt that various generations were in service for the de rothschild family (we clearly have no fame or fortune ourselves but can be great by association!).  I was also able (through the Ancestry website) to make contact with one of my nan's sister's family (one of my nan's neices and her son).  For someone who has spent over 30 years with no  connection with that side of the family this was a HUGE deal.

It even led me to finding out that one of my nan's sisters was involved in a bigamy scandal!  Apparently she married her husband whilst under age and he then subsequently married again.  As she was underage when they married the marriage didn't count so her husband was let off!

My nan's younger sister (the bigamy scandal!)

Tracing my grandad's side of the family back has proven a little more complicated.  I appear to have the oldest living relative in history as I can find absolutely no record of my great-grandad's death!  I know that my great-grandmother died a widow just before WWII in August 1939, but try as I might I have been unable to find any record of my great-grandad's death before hers.  Given that I know he was born around 1882 that must make him the oldest person alive!

I am determined to try and locate my great-grandad's death details and plan to start working on my mum's side of the family soon.  My daughter has caught the research bug and has made a start on my husband's side of the family, which may prove just as problematic - so far it would seem all the men in the family had the same name!

Have you done any family research? What have you found, murderers, aristocrats, inventors?  I would love to hear your stories.

Sharon x

Blogging Etiquette

So being a newbie to the world of blogging I have been giving a lot of thought to "blogging etiquette".  

For me this means, how often to blog, what to blog about, how many pictures to include in a post, how to promote the blog/post, how to promote or link to other blogs (and many more questions I seem to think about when I go to bed at night - yes I know exciting night life I have!).

Now I know that I only started this blog a short while ago and that at that time I said that it was a crafty blog to share my love of crafting and making things.  I have already managed to "go of topic" with a couple of my posts and I know that I am likely to do so again.  I think it is probably safer to say that this blog is going to be an outlet for all my musings/observations/questions/thoughts on life in general, with a fair bit of crafting thrown in for good measure.

Now when it comes to the questions that I lie awake at night thinking about, what do you think?

I don't want to blog daily just for the sake of it about pointless topics or feel under pressure to blog to a regular timetable.  I want blogging to be fun (that's why I started it) and if it becomes too regimented then I'm afraid the fun will disappear and it will become a chore.

I think I have answered the question about what to blog about.  I will blog about anything and everything if it takes my fancy or is something I feel passionate about.

Now the thorny subject of pictures.  David Bailey I am not!  I own a "point and shoot" camera and hope for the best.  I don't think all blog posts necessarily lend themselves to pictures but I am always envious of those bloggers who manage to include an image or picture in every post, which always seems to "fit" with what they are writing about - how do you all do that?!

I do try to tweet when I post something new to the blog and my viewing stats do increase immediate afterwards (so I am comforted to know as I am typing this that someone, somewhere will at least read it and I am not just writing to myself!).  But, how do you work on promoting your blog and start to engage with those readers and open lines of communication and dialogue?  Maybe it is an art to be learnt?  I don't think most Brits are particularly good at "selling themselves" and blowing their own trumpets, so being confident that you have something to say and share that others will want to listen to and be part of can be a bit of a learning curve.  Any suggestions would be gratefully received :).

Finally that old chestnut of "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine".  I am not in the habit of promoting anything just for the sake of it.  The links on the right hand side to other blogs are ones that I genuinely read on a regular basis, which are full of varied and interesting content and which I think everyone would enjoy reading (whether or not you are and avid crafter or not - you will notice that they are not all crafty blogs).

Suffice it to say that I am at the bottom of a learning curve, which actually feels a bit more like a roller coaster - just as a feel I am making progress to the towards the top of the curve I find out that it was actually just the top of the loop and I have to go back down to the bottom again and start working my way up!

If anyone out there would like to share their thoughts or suggestions on the world of blogging, or indeed how they feel this blog could be improved, I would love to hear from you.  As I said I really would like this to become a two way conversation and want to make this a blog as much for your benefit as mine.

Hoping to hear from you.

Sharon x

The light at the end of the tunnel

The wonderful Claire of Claireabellemakes recently blogged about her daily battle with chronic migraines,  She wasn't looking for the sympathy vote and the post wasn't all doom and gloom.  Rather Claire sought to express the problems that she encounters on a daily basis in a positive light to give hope to other migraine sufferers out there.

This is also the reason for this post.

Just over twelve months ago I was in a very dark place.  Now I should explain at this point that I am very fortunate and lucky to have a wonderful husband (we will have been married 20 years this year) and two wonderful children.  I own my own house in a lovely village in the English country side.  Yet despite all this (and at the time having a very well paid job) I was contemplating suicide early last year.  I would lie in bed at night and sit at my desk at work during the day thinking of ways to kill myself that 1) wouldn't be too messy and 2) wouldn't involve my children finding my body.

Before I continue I should say at this point that my life now is completely different, thanks in large part to my love of crafting.

I was working in a highly pressured and stressful law job.  I would be in the office at 7:30, work until around 8pm, no lunch break and then log on again remotely from home and continue working once I got home in the evening and would then work from home at the weekend.  All this whilst trying to run a family home and deal with family matters involving a sick father in law and problems involving my son.  I wasn't eating (it wouldn't be unusual for me to go 24 hours without any food or proper meal) and I wouldn't get to bed before midnight every night and then be up at 5:30 every morning.

Unfortunately my boss was not particularly understanding and actually told me that if I wanted to progress in the company I would have to continue to devote the same amount, if not more, time to work and that I should leave my husband to sort out any family matters!

All this pressure eventually got too much and once I started to contemplate suicide I knew that for my own health and sanity I had to get out.  So, despite being in the middle of a recession I quit my job!

Now, I have to be honest and say that this did cause some financial difficulties that we had to juggle but we gained far more than we lost.

I was finally able to start participating in family life again as I was actually at home!  I started to do my crafting again, making cards and sewing.  I actually started having proper meals and found myself going to bed before midnight on a regular basis.

After a few months of "me time" and some counselling from my local GP I felt well enough to start to look for another job.  I am now working in a non legal environment in an admin job but actually couldn't be happier.
My crafting has continued, and in fact I found that I had such a renewed love for it that I just wanted to keep making things so opened my Etsy shop.

There is a part of me that is frustrated and disappointed about the amount of time I wasted in that other job (6 years).  It was only once out of that environment and with retrospect that I could see how all consuming it had been and how much of my life I had given up to it.  However I am more than making up for it now and after having ready Marianne Cantwell's book Free Range Humans I am even more determined than ever to develop my creative side and use this as my way out of the rat race.

As I said at the beginning of this post I haven't written this for sympathy but rather in the hope that by sharing this story it will give hope to anyone out there who reads this who perhaps is also suffering from depression, are at rock bottom and can't see the way out.  Persevere, you are not alone and there is help out there if you just ask (one of my biggest problems was admitting that I needed help, I didn't want to "bother" anyone!)  But once I asked for help it was there for me, with no judgmental comments, and not once did anyone tell me to "pull myself together"!

Perhaps there is something that you have always wanted to do but have felt that you can't, for whatever reason.  Give it a go, follow your passions.  If cost is an issue perhaps consider a cheaper alternative or start to take baby steps towards your ultimate goal which would perhaps make it more affordable.

Finally, give crafting a go.  Whether it is painting, knitting, sewing, crocheting, woodwork etc,  something which allows you to switch off from the world around you and totally focus on you and what you love; after all YOU DESERVE IT!

Sharon x